MIL and FIL have returned from Brazil and Mom was talking with MIL a day or two ago. I've been sick with the Martian Death Plague, so I haven't talked to Mom until tonight.
There wasn't much said - Mom is going to phone MIL again and get more info.
D has lost a lot of weight and looks sick. He claims that a cellmate of his is issuing death threats. MIL reported that the place where D is being held is filthy.
The outcome of the hearing is in 2 weeks, so we will know more then. Apparently, the hearing was only for T - we didn't know this before. I'm hoping that she is able to return to Canada soon. She is still enamoured with D - telling MIL "You don't know anything about love!" Yeah. Whatever.
Mom and I tend to have these long conversations where she and I argue about D's intentions. I am seriously doubting D's ability to care for anyone after finding out about his more unsavoury activities. I also take the position that anyone who loves another person is going to look at how their activies affect them. D obviously did not take any pains to ascertain whether his actions were going to affect us - oh, but of course, he was never going to get caught.
Mom believes that D loves us and made a huge mistake. She thinks that T's claims about us not caring do not stem from lies D was telling her about how we weren't talking to him or sending money. She lies awake at night thinking about him.
"Do you think we'll ever see him again?"
"I don't know, Mom. I don't know."
"I wish I could turn around and see him walk through the front door."
"I wish he was locked up in a clean facility where he was getting treatment for his medical conditions and being fed adequately."
I think that sums up our respective attitudes towards D.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Update for 2010
D's trial is in the latter half of this month. Mom is putting stuff together into a package for D's FIL to take down. D wrote her another letter, but Mom doesn't want me to put it on the blog. She seems to think that D will do something bad to me or that I'm "making fun of him". Hell, yes, I am. My love is conditional on him not being an asshole to me, to Mom or to the other people who are trying to alleviate his situation. So far, he's not doing well on this point.
I am getting more and more annoyed with FIL... he calls us ostensibly to talk about D's situation, but invariably segues into verbally patting himself on the back for spending money on D (which we didn't ask him to do) and to harangue us for not spending money we don't have. He alternates this with snide comments about "his kind of people" being more "loyal to family". And, apparently, I'm evil because I warned him about D's attempts at manipulating people and his less-than-stellar behaviour towards the world at large and his close relationships.
When I emailed him to see if he wanted to get into contact with BioMom, the conversation went like this:
Hi,
D's biological mother has been in contact with me and is looking for more information. At present, she claims that she cannot afford to contribute anything to his upkeep and, indeed, has claimed to have disowned him, but is still looking for news. I am hoping that you will provide her with such, but did not want to give her your contact information without your consent.
Thanks,
Angry Sister
****
ANGRY SISTER PLEASE TAKE SOME RESONPILITY,I AM DOING ALL I CAN.WE EVEN PAID 4 THE WEDDING.THAT A LOT THAT WE DID.I WILL LET U KNOW WHEN I WIN THE 649,FIL
****
Dear FIL,
I have not had the pleasure of understanding your last missive. To what responsibility do you refer? Unfortunately the fact that you paid for the wedding does not have any bearing on this unfortunate situation. I would appreciate it if you advised me as to whether it is all right to give D's biological mother your contact information at your earliest possible convenience.
Sincerely,
Angry Sister
****
o.k. fil
****
The conversation goes on to some degree, but this is the kind of thing we're dealing with right now.
You know, it's AWESOME that you can afford to spend the kind of money it takes to go down to Brazil and visit your daughter and D. It's GREAT that you're spending your money on D. You're pretty COOL for doing what you're doing for both of them, given that D. put your daughter in serious jeopardy by consorting with DRUG DEALERS (so far, the evidence still points that she knew nothing about the whole thing, although I wonder how someone can just take a "free vacation" at face value and not apply "there ain't no free lunch" critical thinking skills).
What doesn't make you the most wonderful person on the planet is the fact that you're spending money that we don't have and then whining about it. Like D giving me his email and asking me to cover up his illegal and immoral activities, this is a burden WE DID NOT ASK FOR, on top of the whole "support me, I'm in jail because I'm a fucking moron" situation. Having more money to spend does not make you a better human being.
This is kind of like that syndrome where people get fleeced by scam artists, but still keep sending them money because they NEED to believe that they didn't just throw thousands of dollars into the fucking toilet. So what if you spent thousands on the wedding or loan him thousands of dollars. You're never going to see it again, so DEAL. We will take care of D; your first concern should be your daughter.
I told FIL to cut his losses, take his daughter and run, as D is no fit husband for anyone. Apparently her well-being isn't as important as feeling BETTER than us.
I am getting more and more annoyed with FIL... he calls us ostensibly to talk about D's situation, but invariably segues into verbally patting himself on the back for spending money on D (which we didn't ask him to do) and to harangue us for not spending money we don't have. He alternates this with snide comments about "his kind of people" being more "loyal to family". And, apparently, I'm evil because I warned him about D's attempts at manipulating people and his less-than-stellar behaviour towards the world at large and his close relationships.
When I emailed him to see if he wanted to get into contact with BioMom, the conversation went like this:
Hi,
D's biological mother has been in contact with me and is looking for more information. At present, she claims that she cannot afford to contribute anything to his upkeep and, indeed, has claimed to have disowned him, but is still looking for news. I am hoping that you will provide her with such, but did not want to give her your contact information without your consent.
Thanks,
Angry Sister
****
ANGRY SISTER PLEASE TAKE SOME RESONPILITY,I AM DOING ALL I CAN.WE EVEN PAID 4 THE WEDDING.THAT A LOT THAT WE DID.I WILL LET U KNOW WHEN I WIN THE 649,FIL
****
Dear FIL,
I have not had the pleasure of understanding your last missive. To what responsibility do you refer? Unfortunately the fact that you paid for the wedding does not have any bearing on this unfortunate situation. I would appreciate it if you advised me as to whether it is all right to give D's biological mother your contact information at your earliest possible convenience.
Sincerely,
Angry Sister
****
o.k. fil
****
The conversation goes on to some degree, but this is the kind of thing we're dealing with right now.
You know, it's AWESOME that you can afford to spend the kind of money it takes to go down to Brazil and visit your daughter and D. It's GREAT that you're spending your money on D. You're pretty COOL for doing what you're doing for both of them, given that D. put your daughter in serious jeopardy by consorting with DRUG DEALERS (so far, the evidence still points that she knew nothing about the whole thing, although I wonder how someone can just take a "free vacation" at face value and not apply "there ain't no free lunch" critical thinking skills).
What doesn't make you the most wonderful person on the planet is the fact that you're spending money that we don't have and then whining about it. Like D giving me his email and asking me to cover up his illegal and immoral activities, this is a burden WE DID NOT ASK FOR, on top of the whole "support me, I'm in jail because I'm a fucking moron" situation. Having more money to spend does not make you a better human being.
This is kind of like that syndrome where people get fleeced by scam artists, but still keep sending them money because they NEED to believe that they didn't just throw thousands of dollars into the fucking toilet. So what if you spent thousands on the wedding or loan him thousands of dollars. You're never going to see it again, so DEAL. We will take care of D; your first concern should be your daughter.
I told FIL to cut his losses, take his daughter and run, as D is no fit husband for anyone. Apparently her well-being isn't as important as feeling BETTER than us.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Gonna put it down for a while
Got an email from T. She apparently thinks that I knew how to contact her as her parents knew her email address in Brazil. Oh, and I can "take my advise [sic] and shove it".
My response: "Loyalty is admirable; blind loyalty is not."
I'm feeling less and less bad about the personal information that I need to impart to her about D's activities while she was elsewhere.
You know what, I'm getting so sick and tired of both of these benighted ingrates. It's all about them, all the time. "Oh, gee I made a mistake. Oops! It's just like forgetting to take out the garbage!" "Oh, I'm suffering in prison; you should ignore the stupid things I/we did to get me/us in here and start with the monetary support and caring letters!"
These people apparently think "I've suffered enough" is their mantra. Let's just ignore the financial and emotional burden on the people they left behind in Canada. They are ignorant and apparently lack the intellectual prowess to figure out that there are people back at home who know a lot more about their activities than they do. I can't fathom the level of selfishness that leads these people to demand that we not criticize their behaviour and activities. It's disgraceful.
There is a trial in the latter half of January; I'm out of here until the New Year.
Oh yeah and D? Those $695 orthotic insoles you were wanting? Forget it. I'm so fucking done with you both.
My response: "Loyalty is admirable; blind loyalty is not."
I'm feeling less and less bad about the personal information that I need to impart to her about D's activities while she was elsewhere.
You know what, I'm getting so sick and tired of both of these benighted ingrates. It's all about them, all the time. "Oh, gee I made a mistake. Oops! It's just like forgetting to take out the garbage!" "Oh, I'm suffering in prison; you should ignore the stupid things I/we did to get me/us in here and start with the monetary support and caring letters!"
These people apparently think "I've suffered enough" is their mantra. Let's just ignore the financial and emotional burden on the people they left behind in Canada. They are ignorant and apparently lack the intellectual prowess to figure out that there are people back at home who know a lot more about their activities than they do. I can't fathom the level of selfishness that leads these people to demand that we not criticize their behaviour and activities. It's disgraceful.
There is a trial in the latter half of January; I'm out of here until the New Year.
Oh yeah and D? Those $695 orthotic insoles you were wanting? Forget it. I'm so fucking done with you both.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Hello? HELLO?
Got a call from FIL today. Apparently D needs custom orthotics. Yes, I have the money to pay for $500 custom insoles. Apparently he's claiming that the officials aren't letting him look in his suitcase. Because for some reason, one orthotic is in his possession and the other is in his suitcase. Was he hopping on the plane on one leg?
Anyway, another laundry list of stuff D "needs". He is apparently communicating by writing letters to T who is passing them on to FIL. We know that he got what he needed at the store, so I'm thinking he just wants to spend all his money on candy bars and pop instead of necessities. But who knows? The only thing I know is that I can't trust him.
Talked to Mom - she was talking to the NC and he is exercising in the morning, with two hours of Portuguese language instruction after that. He is keeping his head down and not getting involved with the other inmates - a good thing, that, but then again, he was never very brave. This will stay him in good stead if he doesn't make friends with someone who will use him for something. Although that's probably coming.
I don't know what reaction he's going to have to the last letter I sent him. Once he figures out that I don't believe his excuses and won't listen to his complaints, where does that leave him? Will he hate me when his mental processes clue in that I'm not keeping his email a secret? Who knows. I'm not planning on letting him know about this blog, but I am looking forward to the day when he decides that I've betrayed his "big heart" and starts hating me.
Maybe then I'll be able to let him go.
Anyway, another laundry list of stuff D "needs". He is apparently communicating by writing letters to T who is passing them on to FIL. We know that he got what he needed at the store, so I'm thinking he just wants to spend all his money on candy bars and pop instead of necessities. But who knows? The only thing I know is that I can't trust him.
Talked to Mom - she was talking to the NC and he is exercising in the morning, with two hours of Portuguese language instruction after that. He is keeping his head down and not getting involved with the other inmates - a good thing, that, but then again, he was never very brave. This will stay him in good stead if he doesn't make friends with someone who will use him for something. Although that's probably coming.
I don't know what reaction he's going to have to the last letter I sent him. Once he figures out that I don't believe his excuses and won't listen to his complaints, where does that leave him? Will he hate me when his mental processes clue in that I'm not keeping his email a secret? Who knows. I'm not planning on letting him know about this blog, but I am looking forward to the day when he decides that I've betrayed his "big heart" and starts hating me.
Maybe then I'll be able to let him go.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Not Responsible for your Shit, Shithead.
Hi, NC,
Here's a letter for my dear, entitled brother. At this point, I can't trust anything that he says, so I'm going to have to rely on you and anyone else involved with his case to tell me what's really going on. I am still willing to help him and hope that the faint chance of extradition can become a reality, because it's clear that he needs help and he's not going to get it sitting around in a Brazilian prison.
Thanks,
Angry Sister
****
D,
Where to start, where to start...
Oh, let's start with this:
You damn well did ask Mom for money. Remember that charming first letter that you sent Mother which said, in part, "I have asked to hire a lawyer, but need to ask to borrow money to hire him and I promise to pay back every penny you spend on this situation" Yeah, sent by a guy who asks us for the equivalent of $15000 Canadian. Perhaps you didn't ask him to write to us, but you certainly referenced him in your letter "Thanks M for helping me out in anyway you can, it all means so much to me."
So there you go... obviously you need a dictionary and a grammar guide to help you out with writing, because it sure does look like you're asking for money... again. I had no idea how much Mom had sent you. It's her money, but really, when you couldn't or wouldn't pay back what she spent on you when you were HERE and working, don't waste my/our time telling us you'll pay her back when you get back to Canada after spending jail time in a foreign country for drug smuggling.
Oh, and here we go about the hangar. You know, this may come as a complete surprise to you, but when you don't pay your bills, people who are keeping your belongings in exchange for money have the right to claim your belongings after several months. And you have the gall to imply that it was MY fault that your belongings were sold? You think that I had the time or the money to deal with your belongings at the hangar after spending three days just cleaning out your apartment, with all the attendent costs?
You "didn't ask me for much", did you? Only my time, my money, my life, that could have been much better spent doing many, many things than the tasks associated with alleviating your situation. My vacation time... my birthday... close to $500 just to deal with your crap for that one week ... the peace of mind knowing that Mom was unstressed at home. How DARE you assume that you "didn't ask me for much"! I have gone through hell trying to deal with this crap and watching Mom cry was just the maraschino cherry on top.
What frightens me is that you seem to have no concept of your responsibility for your conduct. You have lied, cheated, stolen, misrepresented yourself and others, harassed people and betrayed the very people you claim to hold dearest and yet you seem to think that you still are entitled to our respect and forbearance.
As for your email, I changed the password. It would have been automatically deleted after 3 months of inactivity, but I found the reading material to be much too entertaining. You can definitely claim the distinction of completely surprising me, I'll confess. You're a real piece of work.
At this point, I wonder whether anything you've ever told me is the truth, whether you're even capable of caring for anyone at all. You will no doubt claim that you do, but I beg leave to doubt. Your conduct thus far is not impressing me. We are in touch with T's family, so you might want to keep your stories straight between everybody.
Keep in mind that you have no claim upon us to maintain you, send you money, advocate for you. I suggest that you modify your attitude and start accepting responsibility for your actions. I am not interested in your stories and excuses. You made your choices and now you're going to pay for them.
You're right about one thing; you have nothing at all. Nothing but us, that is. I'm not sure that this is a comfort to you at this point in time. But it is what you have got. If you want to keep us, I suggest you do us the courtesy of telling us the truth. And by "truth" I mean "not the version where its everyone else's fault and I'm just a victim of circumstance."
Angry Sister
Here's a letter for my dear, entitled brother. At this point, I can't trust anything that he says, so I'm going to have to rely on you and anyone else involved with his case to tell me what's really going on. I am still willing to help him and hope that the faint chance of extradition can become a reality, because it's clear that he needs help and he's not going to get it sitting around in a Brazilian prison.
Thanks,
Angry Sister
****
D,
Where to start, where to start...
Oh, let's start with this:
You damn well did ask Mom for money. Remember that charming first letter that you sent Mother which said, in part, "I have asked to hire a lawyer, but need to ask to borrow money to hire him and I promise to pay back every penny you spend on this situation" Yeah, sent by a guy who asks us for the equivalent of $15000 Canadian. Perhaps you didn't ask him to write to us, but you certainly referenced him in your letter "Thanks M for helping me out in anyway you can, it all means so much to me."
So there you go... obviously you need a dictionary and a grammar guide to help you out with writing, because it sure does look like you're asking for money... again. I had no idea how much Mom had sent you. It's her money, but really, when you couldn't or wouldn't pay back what she spent on you when you were HERE and working, don't waste my/our time telling us you'll pay her back when you get back to Canada after spending jail time in a foreign country for drug smuggling.
Oh, and here we go about the hangar. You know, this may come as a complete surprise to you, but when you don't pay your bills, people who are keeping your belongings in exchange for money have the right to claim your belongings after several months. And you have the gall to imply that it was MY fault that your belongings were sold? You think that I had the time or the money to deal with your belongings at the hangar after spending three days just cleaning out your apartment, with all the attendent costs?
You "didn't ask me for much", did you? Only my time, my money, my life, that could have been much better spent doing many, many things than the tasks associated with alleviating your situation. My vacation time... my birthday... close to $500 just to deal with your crap for that one week ... the peace of mind knowing that Mom was unstressed at home. How DARE you assume that you "didn't ask me for much"! I have gone through hell trying to deal with this crap and watching Mom cry was just the maraschino cherry on top.
What frightens me is that you seem to have no concept of your responsibility for your conduct. You have lied, cheated, stolen, misrepresented yourself and others, harassed people and betrayed the very people you claim to hold dearest and yet you seem to think that you still are entitled to our respect and forbearance.
As for your email, I changed the password. It would have been automatically deleted after 3 months of inactivity, but I found the reading material to be much too entertaining. You can definitely claim the distinction of completely surprising me, I'll confess. You're a real piece of work.
At this point, I wonder whether anything you've ever told me is the truth, whether you're even capable of caring for anyone at all. You will no doubt claim that you do, but I beg leave to doubt. Your conduct thus far is not impressing me. We are in touch with T's family, so you might want to keep your stories straight between everybody.
Keep in mind that you have no claim upon us to maintain you, send you money, advocate for you. I suggest that you modify your attitude and start accepting responsibility for your actions. I am not interested in your stories and excuses. You made your choices and now you're going to pay for them.
You're right about one thing; you have nothing at all. Nothing but us, that is. I'm not sure that this is a comfort to you at this point in time. But it is what you have got. If you want to keep us, I suggest you do us the courtesy of telling us the truth. And by "truth" I mean "not the version where its everyone else's fault and I'm just a victim of circumstance."
Angry Sister
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
To T from Mom
Dear T,
I recently received your Email....and Angry Sister got her 2 Emails a few days before>She responded as soon as she got them.
You say in your letter> Quote "Obviously no one cares about D" Unquote......Nothing is further from thr truth. I have sent letters(4 in all)
He got the first one.I don't know about the second. The third was sent by Registered mail,and I put a tracker on it. It was tracked to Brazil.The fourth one,I sent to the Consulate in Ottawa to be delivered I think on the 9th Dec.
I have also sent him $200.00. Another $100.00was sent earlier by Angry Sister(wired from the Royal Bank)
I had Angry Sister check on its whereabouts last week and found out that it was lost in Cyberspace.
So I have sent that $100.00 along too.
I,myself do not have any of D's belongings(saleable) Any money that I sent was from our house. I am living on a fixed income now and resources are slim. My health is shaky and I am presently receiving lots of medical attention.
You say that D is hard on himself. Just know that he has taken those of us who care for him to jail with him.He was NOT 17 or27 or37or40... He is 42 years of age.He must have known that what he was doing was wrong. He chose NOT to 'phone us prior to flying to S.A..
We,his family,might have guessed the implications of such a trip.....We may have, somehow been able to change the outcome of what has turned out to be a nightmare for everyone.
And yes! I know what a hell he is living in and I am so sorry that he put himself in this awful place.
He is on my mind constantly and I wish he was in a Canadian jail where he could get the type of help he needs.We love D, and Aunt P(77yrs.tomorrow) and I miss him very much.
I hope you are well.It sounds as though your living conditions are tolerable. Let's hope that there will be an improvement in D's.
I hope you get home soon, T......and D too.
Keep in touch.
. Mom
I recently received your Email....and Angry Sister got her 2 Emails a few days before>She responded as soon as she got them.
You say in your letter> Quote "Obviously no one cares about D" Unquote......Nothing is further from thr truth. I have sent letters(4 in all)
He got the first one.I don't know about the second. The third was sent by Registered mail,and I put a tracker on it. It was tracked to Brazil.The fourth one,I sent to the Consulate in Ottawa to be delivered I think on the 9th Dec.
I have also sent him $200.00. Another $100.00was sent earlier by Angry Sister(wired from the Royal Bank)
I had Angry Sister check on its whereabouts last week and found out that it was lost in Cyberspace.
So I have sent that $100.00 along too.
I,myself do not have any of D's belongings(saleable) Any money that I sent was from our house. I am living on a fixed income now and resources are slim. My health is shaky and I am presently receiving lots of medical attention.
You say that D is hard on himself. Just know that he has taken those of us who care for him to jail with him.He was NOT 17 or27 or37or40... He is 42 years of age.He must have known that what he was doing was wrong. He chose NOT to 'phone us prior to flying to S.A..
We,his family,might have guessed the implications of such a trip.....We may have, somehow been able to change the outcome of what has turned out to be a nightmare for everyone.
And yes! I know what a hell he is living in and I am so sorry that he put himself in this awful place.
He is on my mind constantly and I wish he was in a Canadian jail where he could get the type of help he needs.We love D, and Aunt P(77yrs.tomorrow) and I miss him very much.
I hope you are well.It sounds as though your living conditions are tolerable. Let's hope that there will be an improvement in D's.
I hope you get home soon, T......and D too.
Keep in touch.
. Mom
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